Openness- The Key to Constructive Feedback

How to Learn from Your Own Experience

What is it to be an open person?  The Johari Window provides a graphic way of looking at interpersonal openness.

The window represents the whole person.

The Open area represents that part of you – your behavior, feelings and thoughts – which you share freely with others.  When you form a new relationship this area tends to be small.  What you share with the new acquaintance is governed largely by social convention and limited to things that are public knowledge anyway.  As you get to know and trust another, you are both willing to share more of yourselves and the open areas grow in size.

The Blind area represents behavior you are not aware of, although another may be.  “Would the gift that God would give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”  You find out about your blind spot through feedback from others.

The Hidden area includes thoughts and feelings that you have not yet revealed to others through your behavior.  You share your hidden by self-disclosure.

The Unknown area is that part of you which you once knew but have forgotten, or which you have not yet discovered.  What helps you to probe into your unknown is to experiment and play.  Small children are experts at self-discovery, simply because they are experts at play.  As people grow older, they often tend to use their capacity to play, to test, to experiment, to fool around as children do.

Enlarging your area of openness by reducing the hidden and the unknown is always a little risky.  There is perceived risk to you and risk to others.  Will you hurt them?  Will you make them angry?  Will they reject you?  What will they think of you?  What will you find out about yourself?  The risk, the pain and the fear of being open can be strong deterrents.  When is openness worth it?  When is it possible?  When is it constructive?

Questioning Formats

When selecting questions to ask, there is a broad range of questions from which to choose. Each of these question formats achieves a slightly different outcome.

Fact-finding questions are targeted at verifiable data such as who, what, when, where and how much. Use them to gather information about the current situation.

e.g. "What kind of computer equipment are you now using?"
"How much training did staff receive at the start?"


Feeling-finding questions ask for subjective information that gets at the participants’ opinions, feelings, values and beliefs. They help you understand views, and they contain words like think or feel.

e.g. "How do you feel about the effectiveness of the new equipment?"
"Do you think the staff felt they received enough training?" 


Tell-me-more questions can help you find out more about what the participants are saying. They encourage the speaker to provide more details.

e.g. "Tell me more." "Can you elaborate on that?"
"Can you be more specific?"


Best/least questions help you understand potential opportunities in the present situation. They let you test for the outer limits of participants’ wants and needs.
 
e.g. "What’s the best thing about receiving a new computer?"
"What’s the worst thing about the new equipment?"

Facilitator Core Practices

Stay neutral on content—your job is to focus on the process elements and avoid the temptation of exerting control of the content of the discussion. While you may use questions and even make suggestions to help the group, facilitators never impose their opinions or take over decision-making power.

Listen actively—this is listening to understand more than judge. It also means using attentive body language and looking participants in the eye while they’re speaking. Eye contact can also be used to acknowledge points and prompt quiet people to take part.

Ask questions—this is the most important tool facilitators possess. Questions can be used to test assumptions, invite participation, and gather information and probe for hidden points. Effective questioning encourages people to delve past symptoms in order to uncover root causes.

Paraphrase—facilitators paraphrase continuously during discussions. Paraphrasing involves repeating what people say to make sure they know they’re being heard, to let others hear their points a second time and to clarify key ideas.

Synthesize ideas—ping-pong ideas around the group during any discussion that requires the collective opinion of the members. When people comment and build on each other’s ideas, it builds consensus and commitment.

Time and Life Management

Have you noticed that some people just seem to accomplish tons and still appear happy and relaxed? We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but some have made specific choices that allow them to make the most of every day, and still feel happy and relaxed. Perhaps the following tips will help you make the most of your time as well.

• Select Priorities That Support Your Lifestyle
Make choices about the activities in your life. With most endeavors, you can either go deep or go wide. Focus on spending time that for you is fun and productive. If you like horses, buy some, but recognize up front that horses require time and you'll have to choose a lifestyle that supports daily time working with them, for you to feel satisfied.  I chose the life of a consultant because I like to work with organizations, but don't want the life of a big company leader. My choices are based on the lifestyle I want.

• Do More with Less Stress
You don't do everything well. The things you do well usually give you greater joy and require less time. Don't take on something with a steep learning curve if you don't have the available bandwidth. Design your life to meet your wants, and recognize when to say no to opportunities that are outside the scope of your desires. Live your life by design, not default.

• Merger and Balance Your Activities and Life
Many people go crazy trying to figure out how to spend time with friends, family, work, play, etc. Stop trying to balance time between them all. Find ways to enjoy them in a combined manner. Build your social life around people in your work environment. Find people in your organization who share common interests and develop your career around the people and activities you love. If everything is out of synch to the point where you feel pulled and stressed, a change is likely imminent one way or another.

Tips for Eliminating Distractions

Do you find yourself getting to the end of the day and wondering where the time went? Maybe you started out prepared to accomplish some very specific tasks, but somehow you just didn't get to them. Putting out fires and dealing with lesser issues can pull people away from longer-term goals. But if that happens every day, chances are you won't be in business much longer.

Here are effective ways to prevent letting distractions damage your productivity:

1. Make and post a list: There's no point in making a list if it ends up under all of your unopened mail at the end of the day. Post it right where you will see it every time you look up, answer the phone or turn to your computer. By keeping it within your field of sight you can also keep it top-of-
mind.

Tips for Staying on Task

• Do creative work first.  Typically, we do mindless work first and build up to the toughest tasks. That drains your energy and lowers your focus.  An hour into doing your work, you've got a lot less capacity than at the beginning. Every decision we make tires the brain.
In order to focus effectively, reverse the order. Check off the tasks that require creativity or concentration first thing in the morning, and then move on to easier work, like deleting emails or scheduling meetings, later in the day.

• Allocate your time deliberately. We are truly focused for an average of only six hours per week. Be really diligent with what you put into those hours.  Most people focus best in the morning or late at night, 90 percent of people do their best thinking outside the office. Notice where and when you focus best, then allocate your toughest tasks for those moments.

• Train your mind like a muscle. When multitasking is the norm, your brain quickly adapts. You lose the ability to focus as distraction becomes a habit. Practice concentration by turning off all distractions and committing your attention to a single task. Start small, maybe five minutes per day, and work up to larger chunks of time. If you find your mind wandering, just return to the task at hand. 

Packing for Travel

1. Pack plenty of business cards. It is never a good idea to run out of business cards while traveling. Tuck extras in your suit pockets, wallet/purse, briefcase and luggage. I put stacks in many places to ensure I always have extra.

2. A name badge. If you do any networking while traveling on business, have your own professional name badge. Don’t rely on the hosting organization to do your name badge and do it right.

3. Extra pens. Make sure you have a pen with you while you are doing meetings. I always find that I need to write some reminders down while I’m talking to people. It’s troublesome to track down a pen while you are busy networking.