Best and Worst Facilitation Practices

Some of the best things that facilitators can do include:

- carefully assess the needs of the members
- probe sensitively into people's feelings
- create an open and trusting atmosphere
- help people understand why they are there
- view yourself as servant of the group's needs
- make participants the center of attention
- speak in simple and direct language
- work hard to stay neutral
- display energy and  appropriate levels of assertiveness
- champion ideas not personally favored
- treat all participants as equals
- stay flexible and ready to change direction if necessary
- make notes that reflect what participants mean
- listen intently to understand totally what’s being said
- periodically summarize related ideas into a coherent summary
- know how to use a wide range of discussion tools
- make sure every gathering ends with clear next steps
- insure that members feel ownership for agreed-to actions
- end on a positive and optimistic note.

Some of the worst things that a facilitator can do include:

- remain oblivious to what the group thinks or needs
- never check group concerns
- fail to listen carefully to what’s being said
- lose track of key ideas
- take notes or change the meaning of what is said
- try to be the center of attention
- get defensive
- get into personality battles
- put people down
- ignore or avoid conflict
- let a few people or the leader dominate
- never check how it’s going
- be overly passive on process
- push ahead on an irrelevant agenda
- have no alternative approaches
- let discussions get badly sidetracked
- let discussions ramble without proper closure
- be oblivious about when to stop
- be insensitive to cultural diversity issues
- use inappropriate humor

Things Exceptional People Say Every Day

Want to make a huge difference in someone's life? Here are things you should say every day to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about:

"Here's what I'm thinking."
You're in charge, but that doesn't mean you're smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else.  Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority.

Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.

Authority can make you "right," but collaboration makes everyone right--and makes everyone pull together.

"I was wrong."
I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.

In practice, it wasn't.

So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, "I know you didn't think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let's move you back to your original shift."

I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I'd lost any respect they had for me.

It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, "I didn't really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know."

When you're wrong, say you're wrong. You won't lose respect--you'll gain it.

"That was awesome."
No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone--pick anyone--who does or did something well and say, "Wow that was great how you..."

Winning Ways of Likeable People

When you meet someone, after, "What do you do?" you're out of things to say. You suck at small talk, and those first five minutes are tough because you may be a little shy and a little insecure.

But you want to make a good impression. You want people to genuinely like you.

Here's how remarkably likeable people do it:

They lose the power pose.

I know: Your parents taught you to stand tall, square your shoulders, stride purposefully forward, drop your voice a couple of registers, and shake hands with a firm grip.

It's great to display nonverbal self-confidence, but go too far and it seems like you're trying to establish your importance. That makes the "meeting" seem like it's more about you than it is the other person--and no one likes that.

Next time you meet someone, relax, step forward, tilt your head towards them slightly, smile, and show that you're the one who is honored by the introduction--not them.

We all like people who like us. If I show you I'm genuinely happy to meet you, you'll instantly start to like me. (And you'll show that you do, which will help calm my nerves and let me be myself.)

They embrace the power of touch.

Touch is powerful.  Touch can influence behavior, increase the chances of compliance, make the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly.

Go easy, of course: Pat the other person lightly on the upper arm or shoulder. Make it casual and nonthreatening. 

The 5 Key Missions of an Outstanding Leader

Great leaders are great because of their actions. Intentions are important. Words are important. But results are everything.  But maybe not the types of results you might have in mind.

Consistently accomplish these five missions and your company — and most importantly your employees — will reap the benefits. Fail at these five missions and no matter how hard you work, you and your company will eventually fall short.

Leadership, Influence and Power

It has been said that "the measure of a man is what he does with power."  Power is our ability to influence one another.  

Power is really not good or bad; it is neutral.  Power is really not a new phenomenon.  It forms the foundations of government, sociology, psychology, history, religion and many disciplines that study how people live and work together, influencing each other.  

It can be intriguing, because power can be surprisingly complex.  It can be enticing, because power can be seductive.  But it can also inspire, and uplift and exalt, because power can be used to help people accomplish marvelously things.  Power can be used to make a difference in the lives of others.

Below is a store entitled the Power of Powerlessness - Oliver's Story.  Oliver teaches us that we can all make a difference.  Our capacity to move from a position of powerlessness comes as we realize that we always have a choice.  Though we may feel trapped or helpless, we can choose the attitude with which we face our challenges.