Openness- The Key to Constructive Feedback

How to Learn from Your Own Experience

What is it to be an open person?  The Johari Window provides a graphic way of looking at interpersonal openness.

The window represents the whole person.

The Open area represents that part of you – your behavior, feelings and thoughts – which you share freely with others.  When you form a new relationship this area tends to be small.  What you share with the new acquaintance is governed largely by social convention and limited to things that are public knowledge anyway.  As you get to know and trust another, you are both willing to share more of yourselves and the open areas grow in size.

The Blind area represents behavior you are not aware of, although another may be.  “Would the gift that God would give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”  You find out about your blind spot through feedback from others.

The Hidden area includes thoughts and feelings that you have not yet revealed to others through your behavior.  You share your hidden by self-disclosure.

The Unknown area is that part of you which you once knew but have forgotten, or which you have not yet discovered.  What helps you to probe into your unknown is to experiment and play.  Small children are experts at self-discovery, simply because they are experts at play.  As people grow older, they often tend to use their capacity to play, to test, to experiment, to fool around as children do.

Enlarging your area of openness by reducing the hidden and the unknown is always a little risky.  There is perceived risk to you and risk to others.  Will you hurt them?  Will you make them angry?  Will they reject you?  What will they think of you?  What will you find out about yourself?  The risk, the pain and the fear of being open can be strong deterrents.  When is openness worth it?  When is it possible?  When is it constructive?